This is me.
An emotional mess.
A stranger would read this and assume I'm sending them off to college, but in actuality they are just headed to 4th, 5th, & 6th grade! 4th, 5th, & 6th grade at a private, Christian, school, right up the road, that only meets three days a week!!
And actually they are only shadowing for two days and then the school has a month off before they start back up in January!
Even still I'm an emotional disaster thinking about all of it and writing out letters to my kids like I won't survive the seven hours all three of them will be gone at the same time!
#parentingishard
#lettinggoisharder
#beingamommaismyfavorite
It won't come as much of a surprise to you that I am a mess!!
It's been a hard semester. The decision to go back to school was not an easy one. Following THIS curriculum from home is hard. Really hard. I did not pay attention enough in school to teach all this madness. Literally, every other aspect of my life has suffered because of this commitment. While you guys dealt with all the new lessons like a champ; I was pulling my hair out bouncing back and forth from grade to grade, and subject to subject. I honestly didn't know if we were going to make, but..... Here we are!
It's official. Next week all three of you will go into a classroom for a significant part of the day. I've been praying this day would get here faster for the past four months, and now I hope this weekend lasts forever.
The last two years have been a dream. An insane adventure filled with animals, an old farm house, at one point no floors, for a long time no walls, even worse was the no appliances, building fences, digging dirt, a constant showing of scratches and bruises, goats, dogs, pigs, chickens, ducks, yelling, laughing, adventure, and hope. It's been the hardest, craziest, dirtiest, and absolute BEST two years of my life!!
I'm so lucky to have three little people I love and adore. I'm so lucky to have a family that has been able to spend every minute of everyday together. What a ride the five of us have been on. What a story we have to tell.
Parts of it were scary. Parts of it were hard. But I wouldn't trade a second of it for anything.
As you venture into the halls and classrooms at school, you'll meet new people and learn new things; but promise me you'll remember who you are.
Remember to be kind, and brave. And especially remember that a lot of the time it takes bravery to be kind!
I wish time would stop in its tracks, but I also can't wait to see the amazing ways you guys are going to change the world!
Baby Girl,
Oh the places you'll go!! The world better be ready because they are not going to miss you coming!! You are my firecracker with a HUGE HEART! I love your passion and protection for all living things. Your commitment to friendship and doing what's right. I love your willingness to stand up against many to protect the rights of only one!
I knew the very second I found out I was pregnant that you were a girl! Instantly, I knew that I had a best friend for life. I'll always be your biggest fan and your fiercest protector. Your freckles are only half as amazing as you are; and EVERYBODY loves those freckles!
Remember that girls can be mean and catty, but you don't have to be. That shiny new things do not bring you true happiness, and fighting for your beliefs is bigger than any prize. I couldn't love you more.... Mom.
Big Man,
Never stop smiling. Those dimples can change hearts and move mountains. Thank you for being a perfect mixture of strong and emotional! Remember you are the only one that knows how to find the best version of you, so trust your gut and don't worry about the other guys.
Promise me you will look out for your brother and sister! Promise that your love of family, of game night, of animals, and snuggling your momma won't fade with the arrival of a busy schedule, new friends, and girls!! Don't ever forget that nobody will ever love you as much as your Momma!
I'm pretty sure I blinked and that tiny little 5lb 2oz baby was suddenly almost as tall as I am. Don't forget that no matter how many trophies you have, or touchdowns you make, nothing is as important as the things you hold in your heart.
No matter how big you get; you'll always be my miracle baby!
I love you more than Memaw does....Mom
Snugglebug, oh my sweet sweet Snugglebug,
You'll never know the strength I have to find to let you out of my sight. I didn't really know me, until you came along. I'll never be able to understand how something so small, could change the lives of so many.
I'm an infinitely better person because of the lessons you have gifted me. I see people, life, the whole world differently because of you. It's not just the autism. It's you. You're my hero because of who you already are and who you are going to be.
Nobody will understand the transformation you have been through in the last few years. Our time together has been priceless, and honestly I feel very concerned about sharing you with the world. I secretly feel like you are a priceless first addition that only I am truly able to read. What if they don't see you like I do. What if they don't understand you the way I do. Do they know that beneath that 5th grade boy exterior, you have an extra special heart?
Remember how far we have come, but never forget where we started. Don't forget that you are stronger than the "kryptonite" and armed with so many "super powers". Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and tell the world your stories. Your gifts have only begun to shine through, and the anticipation is exhilarating.
I know that things are going to be hard, and confusing at times. I know that you won't always understand other people's words, and they may misinterpret yours. Just know that we have never met a challenge we couldn't tackle together, and I will ALWAYS be by your side.
Thank you for making me a better mother, daughter, wife, and friend. Never more than when I watch you walk away, do I feel an actual piece of my heart outside my body.
We got this buddy! Love....Mom
